365-02

I have obviously been really bad about this. I have been writing, but none of it is really good enough to post here. This is the closest to "good" that I have come up with.

Biggest Small Government Ever

I am tired of Republicans saying they are all about small government. There is nothing small government about them. This lie continues to perpetuate, which confuses me. Any major political (or other) fallacy that people continue to believe is astonishing. In an age when the Internet is available almost anywhere and it takes about 3.2 minutes to Bing something, I do not understand how this mistruths continue.

People are either really lazy or really dumb. Maybe it is the fault of Gold Spine books or Disney or Religion, that people are so willing to accept fantasy. Because if man can walk on water, bears eat porridge and live in a cabin, and women are woken from a drug induced sleep by their true loves kiss, than it serves to reason that a government mandated random phone tapping and vaginal probing can be grouped in with small government.

There is something eerie about the idea of a government that controls and prohibits personal freedoms being small. If I remember my history lessons correctly, the pilgrims emigrated because of a government that tried to limit their personal freedom.

My body, fertility, and comments on The New York Times website should not be controlled by the government. Government should be focusing on labor laws, emissions, and international relations, not my reproductive organs. Nor do I think a group of middle aged religious men are the experts on my vagina, or anyone else’s. I cannot be the only person that thinks a government that mandates rape is okay.

365-01

I decided that I should force my self to be creative and write every day for a year, just to see what happens. I figured if photographers can do, than I can also. Here is my first attempt.

The Super Bowl

In 2007 I had dreams. I was willing to bet money on these dreams. I fully believed that one of my favorite teams could have an undefeated record. I was willing to bet money on this hope. The Patriots were about to make history.

The game was really good. It kept me on the edge of my porn-casting-leather couch. In 2007 I was the only Patriots fan surrounded by a bunch of douchey frat guys…one of which I had seen naked and made $100 bet. There I was, sweating profusely and ready to see what would happen to the size of my wallet. As history will show, my wallet became a $125 slimmer. Not only had a made a bet with the frat guy I had been fraternizing with on down low, I also made a bet with a nerdy customer that would later ask me on a date and get rejected.

But this year, this was the chance for the Patriots to avenge the Giants. Instead, the Giants treated me like a prom date they were fucking doggie style. They start off in the vagina, then without any warning or lube they “slip” out and surprise you in the ass. All just for funzies.

I am glad I didn’t put any money on them.  A girl can only allow her heart, wallet, and anus to be broken so much.