I have a confession to make. I watch the show “Drop Dead
Diva”. It is a terrible show, but I love it. For those who haven’t been lucky enough
to catch an episode, it is basically about a shallow aspiring model who dies
and happens to come back, but her soul is placed in the body of a powerful
lawyer who happens to be…well, fat. While this show is predictable and
terrible, it has some gems of wisdom and truth.
As the main character is adjusting to life in her new
over-weight body she notices people looking at her differently than they used
to when she was skinny. People she was friends with in her past life brush her
off and give her what she refers to as “the size up”. This is essentially an assessment
made by quickly eyeing a person’s body up and down. I have over-weight friends
and family members and I am sure this type of thing happens to them all the
time. I am not denying that. But, can we stop pretending like fat girls don’t
do the same?
Today, I went to Target. I wore a lightweight nude tank top
with neutral jeweled detailing around the straps and collar paired with a
bright blue high waist skirt and greyish-brown ankle boots with fringe on the
side. Nothing was hanging out. My breasts were covered, my midriff covered, my
lady parts all covered. Still, every girl who passed me whose pant size is
larger than a size 8 quickly eyed me up and down and looked away. None of these
girls looked me in the face or eyes. All they saw was a thin girl showing off
too much skin, because apparently this is the 1920’s and knees are scandalous.
Even a child did this to me! A child!
I have worked hard to be comfortable in my skin. It has
taken lots of hours and discipline to stop saying terrible things to myself
about my own body. My cellulite, my less than flat stomach, my back fat, the
list goes on. Not being an asshole to my self is not easy. It has been hard to
focus on the positive instead of the negative. My awesome skin, my long legs,
my great ass! Seriously, my ass is killer. And I am not bashing my curvy
sisters! I am not eyeballing you with judgment.
Thick girls are beautiful! I don’t care if you are a chubby
girl wearing a bikini or rocking a miniskirt. Sure, I don’t want your skirt to
be so short I can see your ovaries, but I don’t want to see that on a skinny
chick either. My heavy girlfriends are beautiful. Wear whatever you want to
wear.
We need to stop hating ourselves and each other. We need to
stop thinking that our body is not the ideal. My body is great not because I
wear a size 4, but because of all the amazing things it can do and has been
through. My body has healed from broken bones and sprains, heart breaks and
mental break-downs, my body gets me through every single long shift I work on
my feet, my body takes me places and puts up with the abuse I put it through.
Our bodies are miracles! So, let’s be happy with how amazing these sacks of
skin filled with bones and organs really are.
Also, it was 9:30 PM and pushing 80 degrees. So, Judgey
McJudgerson, calm down. It is balls hot. Let this bitch breathe!
